dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
