so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
