the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
