so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
