plz talk dirty to me
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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