Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
