im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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