and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
