Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
