I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
