it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
