After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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