i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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