So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize