who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
