she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So much rum. So many feels.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
