is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so let's talk penis.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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