i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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