sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
