:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
