Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize