the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
