I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
