yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
