I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
