dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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