"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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