no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
