it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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