he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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