I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
