Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
