The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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