Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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