Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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