Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
