puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
