We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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