That's intense
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Randomize
