She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
