First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize