Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize