in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
