i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
