i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
