Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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