its not stalking. its research.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
