porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
