What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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