So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
