then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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