A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
