I hate your face
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I believe in your delicious
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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