But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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