i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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