took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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