With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
