Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
