Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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