Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
