Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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