It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
