We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
