eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
