just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
her vagine was all disorganized.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
