new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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