Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize