how can u be prego again
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
