Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
