Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
