I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Come on in and take your pants off
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