i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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