what day is it and did you see me today?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize