I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
