I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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