but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
