I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I will be naked everywhere
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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