I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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