We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize