I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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