Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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