Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
