You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
either way he was missing a nipple.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
